Navigating Grief Blog Post

 Navigating Grief

By Melodi Leih

We stood in line over an hour for a roller coaster. I watched it go forward and backward many times. I got this. No big deal.    

It was our turn. I stepped in and contemplated stepping out, but I didn’t. I sat down, pulling the restraint as tight as I could against my chest. As soon as I was locked in, I changed my mind. Before I could say “No, let me off, I don’t want to do this,” the ride took off.  Like being shot from a cannon, I screamed until I had no voice, wishing the whole time I could get off.   

I felt this again when my mom died. My insides felt like they were back on that ride. All I could do was scream and cry, “I don’t want to do this.” That same feeling came the day of her funeral. We pulled up to the cemetery. I slowly got out of the car. As I rounded the back of the car, I could see her casket. In my mind that just did not seem right. This is not really happening. My daughter approached and I simply said, “I don’t want to do this.”    

Navigating loss is hard. It doesn’t matter what the loss is. Loss can be the death of a loved one, a relationship, a marriage—loss of a job, a significant move, loss of independence—any unexpected event in your life. With loss comes grief and mourning. We are left grieving what we thought would be and recognition that grief is the cost of love.   

C.S. Lewis, in his book A Grief Observed says, “Grief is like a long valley. A winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape.”   

Wherever you are on this journey, be encouraged by these thoughts:

Be kind to yourself. Give yourself time and permission to feel.   

Journal. Write a letter; add detailed memories to read later. 

Talk to someone. Seeking help can prevent grief from growing beyond what you can handle. Join a Grief Share support group, talk to a pastor. Talking to someone doesn’t make you weak, it makes you wise.  

Recognize that grief affects everyone. You are not alone. Everyone experiences hurt and loss at some point. The only way forward, is through. 

Expect grief to recur. There is no timetable for grief. It will come and go. 

Be the one to show up and be present for people. You don’t need to have words or know what to do, you just need to be present. 

Moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting. Getting through means you keep living, keep having new experiences all while still loving who or what you lost.    

Joy and sorrow can coexist when love is the root of your loss. If you are grieving today, I’m sorry and my heart is with you. If you are wondering if there is reason to hope or keep moving forward, there is—it’s Jesus. Lift your head. You are loved and there are good days ahead. 

Discussion Questions:

If you are holding grief, what is one step you can take today to move you forward? 

How does Jeremiah 31:13 speak hope to your heart?